Joke: Driving and Drinking

A  man was driving and drinking and sudden he feel very pressed then stop his car somewhere, unfortunately area boys were having fun, he park his car just to press free himself, but it annoyed the area boys, they move close to him, he was been beaten, and harass, he enter his car and drove off. 

Still press, he thought and empty bottles will be okay for him to press free himself, he took the bottle and urinate inside the bottle as he was going the police on patrol stop him, and ask him is a particular?

 He gave them, it was check and complete, one of the officer had a sight effect of a bottle filled with wine, beside him ask  what is that, he said wine, so you drinking and driving, you just committed and offence in the constitution section 11 act 15 TITLED DRIVING AND DRINKING. 

True Life for Married and Single - My Marriage at the Edge of Exit

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

Must Read: A Teenage Love Affair… Part 14

If You Missed The Part 13, Read It Here

Miriam and her sisters had just gotten home. Claire greeted their parents and headed straight to her room. Eghosa followed her after a rushed greeting amd Miriam went to her room after doing the same. Claire was sitting on her bed. “Claire. . . ? Claire we’ve gotta talk about this”. “I’d rather we didn’t. Eghosa,i’m pissed off. At you. At Owen. At the whole friggin’ world. You knew i didn’t want to see him,and yet,you went right ahead and set tonight up”,Claire said,trying to take of her heels and attacking them with a ferocity that showed how angry she was. “Claire? I’m sorry. You didn’t let me in. You didn’t tell me what was going on”. “Oh so this is my fault?”,Claire cut in. “I didn’t say that. Look i’m sorry,okay,but did you expect me to just sit there and do nothing? I mean,a few weeks ago you two were all lovey-dovey,and now you don’t even wanna talk about the guy?”,she asked. “I’m never lovey-dovey”,Claire said crossly.

 “Okay,so maybe not lovey-dovey. But you were happy with him,and then,all of a sudden,boom! It’s over. You break up with him in a text?”,Eghosa asked,incredulement creeping into her voice. “That’s cruel,Claire. A text? How could you do that to him?” “So now i’m the bad guy,huh? You’re my sister. You’re supposed to be on my side”,Claire said. “This is not about taking sides Claire. It’s about you. I love you to pieces. I want you to be happy. You’re happy with him,he’s crazy about you. . ” “Yeah? Well apparently,he’s not as crazy about me as i thought”,Claire said quietly. “Whaddya mean?”,Eghosa asked. It doesn’t matter anymore”,Claire replied with a resigned sigh. “See this is what i mean Claire. You don’t wanna let me in”. “It hurts to admit it to myself. I don’t think i can handle admitting it to someone else”Claire replied softly. Eghosa came to her,sat down beside her and held her hand. “Did he. . . Did he cheat?”,shd asked just as softly. “He might as well have. Infact,this was much worse. I mean if he cheated,you could say it was just s*x,right? But this was.

Must Read: A Teenage Love Affair… Part 13

If You Missed The Part 12, Read It Here

Orisha and Miriam were outside,standing at the spot he’d led them to. “So what did you wanna show me?”,she asked. “Look up”,he replied. She did. It was a dark night,with a crescent moon and twinkling stars as far as the eye could see. “It’s beautiful”,she said in awe. “I thought you’d think so”,hd said and held her hand. She glanced at their joined hands,smiled and then looked back up. “Are you gonna show me the North Star?”,she asked. “Err. . . No. I don’t know the first thing about astrology”,he said with a rueful grin.
“Good. Cos i don’t either”,she said. “It’s just

so spectacular. There are billions of stars in our galaxy alone. Just thinking of all the other galaxies out there,and the billions of stars and other wonders of creation therein. . . The numbers are just mind-boggling”,he said.

“Yeah. We humans are pretty small,insignificant in comparison”,she said softly and continued about a minute
later;”I’m really glad that i’m here with you”.

“So am i”,he said in reply. They continued holding hands,silently looking at the stars,just
soaking in the moment.

Jokes of the Day

A traveling salesman asked a farmer to spend the night. The farmer agreed, but told him he would have to sleep in the barn. The farmer, being a nice guy and knowing how horny traveling salesmen get told the man, "Look son, see that wall? It's got three holes in it.

You can screw the first two but don't mess around with that third hole. Got it?" The salesman thanked him and bedded down on a pile of hay. About midnight he got real horny and decided to take a poke at the first hole. It was good but not really satisfying so he took a poke at the second hole. It was even better but he still wasn't satisfied so he thought about the third hole and reasoned to himself, "If that first hole was pretty good and the second hole was even better, I'll bet that third hole will really do the trick!"

The next morning the farmer noticed the salesman was still sleeping so he went about his chores and late in the afternoon he finally saw the salesman wake up. "Damn, son! You been sleeping a long time! What happened?" "Well," the salesman replied. "I should have listened to you. I got horny last night and tried that first hole and it was pretty fair but not really satisfying so I tried the second hole. It was good but didn't do the job so I took on that third hole. Say, what's behind them holes anyway?" "Son, that first hole is my sheep, Dolly. The second hole is my mare, Sally, and that third hole is my milking machine and that thing don't quit till it gets a quart!"

Jokes of the Day

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation. 

He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.
"Then we'll shoot your dick off!" the prince says.
"I'm a fireman," the second guy says.

Must Read: A Teenage Love Affair… Part 12

If You Missed The Part 11, Read It Here

Date night. . . .

Miriam and her sisters had just arrived at Chez Rouge. Miriam wore a light red gown,black peep-toe heels and carried a matching black purse. She walked to the door,looking around nervously. Orisha was supposed to meet them outside. A few minutes later,she spotted him. He was resting against the wall,cleaning his glasses. “Hey”,she called out. He put on his glasses,blinked,and then smiled. “Hey”,he replied and walked to her. “Gd’evenin”,she said. “Evenin’ “,he replied,dipped his head and kissed her on the cheek. 

“The corporate look really works for you”,she said. He was wearing a black striped suit,white dress shirt,bold red tie and a matching pocketsquare. “Thanks. You look beautiful”,he said,running an appreciative eye over her outfit. “Uhm. . I got you this”,he said,bringing out some flowers that were arranged as a brooch. “I didn’t know the colour of the dress you’d be wearing,so i figured white would go with anything”,he said,gesturing to the white flower brooch thing. “Thanks”,she said and put it on. “And. .

 These are my sisters”,she continued,turning to introduce them. “Claire,Eghosa,meet Orisha. Orisha,my sisters”. “It’s nice to meet you”,he said,not sure if he should shake them or not. He ended up stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It’s nice to meet you too”,Eghosa said. “Shall we?”,he asked,gesturing to the front door. “Sure”,Claire replied. He took Miriam’s arm in his and they all went in. “Welcome to Chez Rouge”,said a beautiful woman somewhere between her early to late 30’s,and then as she saw Orisha,her face brightened noticeably. “Good evening aunt Chidinma”,he said. “Good evening dear”,she said with a smile as he kissed both her cheeks.